She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
