Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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