Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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