Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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