eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm bleeding and have questions
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