his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
