Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
