Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
