I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
