i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
