y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
