Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
