Sry I called you an 8
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
