just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
