so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
