i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
