Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
