Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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