She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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