That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
