Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
