Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
