so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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