You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
