i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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