Porn is love you can see.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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