I don't think brook has ever known best
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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