I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
