my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
