An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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