yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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