grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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