I'm lost and stupid without you.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
