If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
