Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
