It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
