Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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