i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
