terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
