Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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