Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
