I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
