is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
