she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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