Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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