Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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