I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize