chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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