You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Umm I'm too high to move.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Someone came in the potted fern
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize