my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
