dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
