Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
