Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
