in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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