No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
