She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
