She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
