We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
