apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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