Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
