I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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