This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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