either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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