bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
