My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
