Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
