One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
