I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
