Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
