The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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