I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize