Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
