don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
