it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize