I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
