she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
