My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We are all done wearing pants today
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
