FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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