My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
