Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
